


Smile

by lizzie_pj



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Extended Scene, F/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-06-09 05:50:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6892636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzie_pj/pseuds/lizzie_pj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What was originally planned as a single piece as a response to the Downton Canon Prompt Challenge by mistressdickens on tumblr has turned into a series of one-shots, that are basically all more or less elaborations on canon Baxley scenes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Smile

**Author's Note:**

> This is my reply to MistressDickens' Downton Canon Prompt Challenge on tumblr
> 
> I chose that post courtroom scene between Molesley and Baxter because I've never read about that one before and because I always enjoyed the small moment when he makes her smile even though the actual trial was so very different from what Miss Baxter had imagined it to be.
> 
> „People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.“ - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
> 
> That quote inspired me to give this challenge a try. With that Coyle business around, there was always some subtle darkness about Miss Baxter and if anybody would be able to see that sparkle, still, it would be Molesley.

The trial had ended only minutes ago and now, Mr. Molesley was sitting on one of the benches just outside the courtroom. It would take a few minutes for Miss Baxter and Sergeant Willis to join him, but Molesley didn't mind. Not after the trial had taken such an unexpected turn in the last minute. 

They were probably telling Miss Baxter just right now, that she wouldn't have to make an official statement, Molesley thought. He was glad that she wouldn't have to face Coyle, after all. Even though he was still convinced that agreeing to be a character witness had been the right thing for her to do, Molesley was happy that Miss Baxter would now be spared the trouble. 

He still remembered her words as if she had said them yesterday and not a few weeks earlier.  
„But he has changed me.“  
Miss Baxter didn't have to tell him that seeing Coyle across the courtroom, speaking about her past in front of so many people, would be terribly difficult for her. Molesley suspected as much. It would have hurt him, too, to know that such a kind and decent person like her had to go though such troubles.

He had noticed, how quiet and downcast she had been in the days leading to the trial. This whole business seemed to cast a shadow over her that hadn't been visible since her early days at Downton Abbey. Again, she had distanced herself from the others downstairs as if even so much as the thought of that despicable man was enough to surround her with darkness.

Molesley was the only one she had confided in. He was glad that she seemed to trust him when she kept everybody else at bay, giving even the Bates's only as little information as possible about her role as a witness in a trial.  
Mrs. Hughes must know more, as well, he thought when he remembered something she had told the Sergeant earlier, when he had come to the Abbey to pick them up. „She's in a frail frame of mind“, the housekeeper had said.  
Frail, yes, that had been the word he had been looking for lately when thinking about Miss Baxter. Her emotional state had been so frail, almost like fine glass you were afraid to touch in case it might break.

Looking up, Mr. Molesley's musings were interrupted when he saw Miss Baxter walking towards him. He stood up to greet her, but she addressed him first.

„Did you hear?“, she asked without hesitation when they met in the middle of the room. 

That he changed his plea, yes?“, He nodded, then babbled on, „I was in court, I've only just come out“, pausing, he sighed, „I expect, when he heard that you turned up, he must have known it was pointless.“

„So, I've been spared“, she reflected, still a bit unsure about the turn of events. Her face had turned into a look that didn't give away whether she was relieved or more disappointed.

Molesley didn't quite know what to make of her statement. He didn't like it when things were unsure, it made him nervous and he had to chuckle when he wanted to know, „How do you feel?“ 

„In one way, I feel relieved, 'cause the newspapers won't find me and there'll be no repercussions.“ Miss Baxter started to explain, leaving Molesley with the feeling that there was more to it.

Encouraging her to move on, he asked, „But?“ tilting his head a little to one side.

She frowned slightly when she elaborated, „I suppose I'd worked myself up to facing him across the courtroom. This man ruined my life and now it feels a bit – anticlimatic.“

Molesley watched her, a little taken aback by her words. Then, after a short moment of contemplating his voice turned into a joking tone when he suggested, pointing to the courtroom, „Should I go back in, ask him to plea 'not guilty', after all?“

„No, thank you“, Miss Baxter assured him with a hint of a smile. A truly honest and thankful smile that made him so nervous, he automatically had to giggle at his own joke.

Molesley could hit himself for his awkward personality. He wouldn't be surprised if someday soon, he would fall over his own two feet in another fit of nervousness. But in this moment, he didn't care too much. Miss Baxter had smiled on a day that had been until now so exhausting for her. It felt as if the whole room had lightened up a little and a part of that shadow had been lifted from her soul. He knew that she could not see it yet, herself. It would take a lot more for her to grasp that she could leave the darkness behind. But that tiny sparkle that made her beautiful eyes shine had been there.

„We should leave, Sergeant Willis is fetching the car“, Miss Baxter told him after a moment. Molesley helped her into her coat and together they made their way outside. He left the building with a spring in his step that hadn't been there before.


	2. Nothing else but You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave the tumblr Downton Canon Prompt Challenge by mistressdickens another try, because some of those quotes are really more beautiful every time you read them.
> 
> It's another Molesley/ Baxter scene extension, of course, because apparently, according to some people, there isn't enough Baxley out there.
> 
> I always felt that their „goodbye scene" when Molesley tells her that he's made a decision on becoming a real teacher was rather unfinished, so I decided to give them a little more time.

„My life began with you, and my future goes on with you – there's nothing else."

\- James Hilton, Random Harvest

 

„While you were away, I -", he approached her in the hallway behind the kitchen with the strangest mix of reluctance and enthusiasm that was just typical for Mr. Molesley.

„Decided to accept Mr. Dawes's offer", Miss Baxter interrupted him, before he even had time to contemplate how to put the news into coherent words, and smiled up at him. The promptness of her reaction made it clear that she had expected nothing else. Still, she pointed out the obvious. „I knew you would, and I'm glad."

Lately, the natural soft tone of her voice had become accompanied by a light-heartedness of someone who didn't have any troubles in the world. Which most likely was, how she must have felt, now that she had left that whole Coyle business behind her, Molesley pondered.

He was happy for Miss Baxter, because leaving her past behind her gave her the opportunity for a new beginning. Still, a tiny part of him thought that it wouldn't have hurt her to sound a little bit less enthusiastic about his leaving. It was then that he noticed the similarities: Both of their lives had taken a turn for the better, recently. His new start as a teacher held as much a chance of happiness in store as her forgetting Coyle did.

Miss Baxter had once told him, that his strength had made her strong. But he knew that she had been the source of his strength at least as much and he knew if there was one thing that he didn't want to change, it was the friendship they had built up. She had been at his side, encouraging him and guiding him when he, himself, had been at a loss for words, and it made her dearer to him than he could allow himself to voice in a corridor with maids and hall boys possibly lurking just around the corner.

Still, Molesley had to make sure that she somehow knew how important she was to him. What would his future be without her, when it had been her who had made him look forward to his future in the first place? Molesley had been used to feeling left out his whole life, that is until Miss Baxter had called him lucky and assured him that his life was worthwhile.

„Oh, we won't lose touch, I-I'll walk up here often", Molesley stuttered in a high-pitched voice, barely concealing his nervousness.

„No, we won't lose touch. You can be sure of that." It was said with a simplicity that anyone passing by would have thought it nothing more than a silly reassurance. But to Miss Baxter it was more of a silent promise and by the look of it, Mr. Molesley had understood it as such.

He smiled but the look in his eyes was downcast and almost regretful, and she wondered if he was having second thoughts about leaving Downton for good. She knew she was sad to see him leave. But the melancholic feeling of letting him go was overcast by a much more positive emotion – she was truly happy that his dream had come true in the end. As she had told him once before, this was his moment. Finally, Mr. Molesley would be where he had always wanted to be and she would make sure that his goodbye from service was going to be a cheerful affair. She wouldn't stand in his way.

After all, they would still see each other, just like he had said, of that Baxter was sure. She imagined herself walking to the village between luncheon and tea to visit him at the schoolhouse, or Molesley helping out from time to time during large dinners at the Abbey.

She hoped against hope that this would be enough for her when she knew it wasn't. Thoughts were running wild in her head, now, of Mr. Molesley starting a new life in his cottage, meeting new people, moving on. And slowly, they would be losing touch – they wouldn't be able to keep their promise, no matter how much they wanted to.

Baxter realized suddenly that she had to do something soon or Molesley would turn around and leave to polish some silver or serve dinner or something, and the moment would be gone.

„Mr. Molesley", she called him, reaching out her arm to grab his sleeve, but then paused in mid-air, unsure if the touch would be welcome. „I want you to know, I will miss you when you're gone. It won't be the same without you."

„Oh, but I won't be gone. I told you I will be around", Molesley reassured her.

„Still, it will be strange not being able to talk to you every day. It was your support that gave me the chance of a new beginning, after all." Baxter wanted to tell him all the things she would miss about him and how much she really would miss his company. But even if she had found the words to express her feelings, she wouldn't have had the courage to say them. Their relationship was so dissatisfyingly undefined that every possible step forward seemed too bold.

Being the nice, unsuspecting person that he was, Molesley shook his head in disbelief when he replied, „You're strong on your own, and with Mr. Barrow gone and – well,...you left the other thing behind you, too – you don't need support."

„Maybe not", Baxter sighed, and added after a short moment, „Maybe it's just you I need."

Molesley blankly stared at her, his mouth slightly open. He blinked. He didn't say a word. In fact, he showed no reaction whatsoever up to the point that Baxter wondered if she had said those words out loud or if he was still waiting for her reply.

After a minute or so, the situation was on the edge of becoming rather ridiculous. Apparently, Molesley was at a loss for words, whether that was a good sign or a bad one, Miss Baxter couldn't say. To spare them both any further embarrassment, she sighed loudly and wanted to make her way back to the servant's hall when his words stopped her.

„Phyllis... I-I mean, Miss Baxter, I don't know what to say", stating the obvious was such a silly, Molesley thing to do that Baxter found his rambling endearing, „it's just, this was unexpected."

„Was it, though?" Baxter asked him, slightly taken back. „Because the thing is, you didn't only change my life, my life really began with you. And I want my future to go on with you – because there's nothing else, nothing else I want more than to be with you. But if this is not what you want, if you rather want things to remain as they were, then that's okay. Then I will be your friend forever, because I want you to be happy." It had been a long time since Baxter had been anything but comfortable around Molesley but in that moment, she was more than nervous. With her little speech she had given him the power to decide where they would go from there.

This time, though, he didn't take as much time to give her an answer as he did before and for that alone she was thankful. Also, this time he was much more confident and his voice was steady.

„I must admit, I'm still overwhelmed because this literally was the last thing I expected", Molesley gave her a one-sided grin and she nodded, gesturing him to move on, „You are so much better with words than I am. I could have never expressed it so accurately when in fact, I feel exactly the same about you. And I'd be the happiest person, if you had me. Not just as a friend."

Baxter hadn't even noticed that she had been holding a breath. Molesley beamed at her, most likely reflecting her own stupid grin that was plastered on her face. It must have been a pretty stupid picture, Molesley standing there in the deserted hallway with his arms dangling around him and herself across from him, clinging to one of her Ladyship's dresses, both smiling like children who had been offered candy for dinner.

As if on cue, to prevent any improper behaviour, Mr. Carson's voice reached their ears, „Mr. Molesley, should I ask the dinner party to come down to the kitchen and help themselves? You are not being paid to entertain the ladies maids!"

Molesley's head shot down immediately and his smile froze. When he hurried to the kitchen to fetch a tray, Baxter noticed how red his ears had turned at Carson's reprimand. Thank God, Carson didn't have the slightest idea that his scolding might have been anything but innocent.


	3. Bold steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is not supposed to be regarded as a continuation of the previous chapter but another one-shot. This is more of a reflecting Molesley – thing, with him maybe being a little less hesitant towards the end than he normally might be. Nothing extreme though, because I just don't think that being too bold would be in his character.
> 
> Of course, Downton Abbey and the characters aren't mine. Seriously, would I be writing this if they were?

What a week it had been, Mr. Molesley wondered in awe, thinking about those last few days that he had spent at Downton Abbey. Christmas had been as magical as always with a big Christmas tree and servants, workers and the Crawley family enjoying the special atmosphere together while the children were running around among them. Then, there had been the beautiful wedding of Lady Edith today. And now, on the brink of a new year dawning, a new life had just begun. The news that Anna had given birth to a healthy baby boy had reached the downstairs only a few minutes ago and naturally, it had cheered up everyone in attendance even more.

All those very recent developments made him think of the changes that the last year had had in store for him. A few months ago Molesley would have never thought his place to be anywhere but in service, probably even not anywhere else but Downton Abbey. Who had thought that his helping Daisy with her studies would lead to the biggest change of his own life, too? Certainly not himself. True, it had been a bold step for him to leave his position in service for good, at and his age. But it had been more than worth it. Now, thinking back of his time at Downton Abbey, and even of that before when he was still a butler in the Crawley house, it all felt like a lifetime ago.  
Molesley didn't look back with any regrets. He had always wanted to be a teacher, even as a kid. But then, he had to leave school at the age of twelve in favor of taking on small jobs here and there because they had needed the money. So, being a teacher had stayed a dream – one of those dreams you didn't get frustrated with because you just knew would never come true and you were fine with that.  
What an unexpected turn it had been when one day, while he was strolling through the village alongside Miss Baxter, Mr. Dawes had approached them and offered him a job as a proper teacher. Molesley remembered how dumbfounded he had been and how it had been Miss Baxter who had talked to the head teacher in his place, reassuring him that he would indeed think about the offer.

Mr. Molesley pondered whether he would ever have found himself bold enough to take such a chance if it hadn't been for Miss Baxter. After all, it had been her who had given his confidence a boost with her unwavering faith in him. He was so glad that he had her by his side because, if he was being honest to himself, he had to admit that he would never have found himself able to even consider changing professions. He would still be mousy, awkward Mr. Molesley who stumbled over his words as much as he stumbled over his feet. Miss Baxter really had brought on a change in him, a change for the better, when she had believed in him and his abilities.

If there was one thing he regretted about leaving Downton behind, it was not seeing Miss Baxter as often as he wanted to. Since he had become a teacher he was barely around the big house anymore, only occasionally finding the time to make his way up there for a friendly chat or a cup of tea with his former colleagues. So it had been a pleasant surprise when she had visited him in his little cottage only two days before Christmas, and had asked him whether he would like to spend Christmas there, helping out as a footman again. There was no way he could have said no to her watching him with those big eyes and a bright smile.

She had become dearer to him during the past months than Molesley would have dared to admit while they had both been working together. Even though it probably wouldn't have been as improper at Downton Abbey as it would be in other households for a footman to declare his more than amicable feelings for one of the maids, he definitely couldn't have helped it not to be frightened of being lectured for indecent behaviour.

The circumstances were different now, though. Molesley was in a completely different position now and nothing was keeping him from taking yet another bold step. Nothing, except his own inhibitions. Taking a risk had paid off, once. But this time, the stakes were so much higher. There had been nothing to lose when Molesley had decided to become a teacher. There had always been the certainty that he could have returned to be a footman in case he had found out that teaching wasn't for him.  
There was no backup plan this time, though. They wouldn't be able to turn back to the trusted companionship if his affections were not reciprocated. And secondly, he didn't have Miss Baxter at his side this time, always around to push him in the right direction whenever nerves had overcome him and deprived him of his ability to make a choice for himself. He couldn't quite well ask for her advice in this matter.

He was taken out of his reveries when a glass was shoved in front of him. Molesley looked up, it was Thomas handing out cups filled with punch to everyone who had gathered around the large table in the servant's dining hall. It was almost midnight now and people were preparing to welcome the New Year properly. Even Thomas appeared uncharacteristically cheerful – but of course, he would be, with the prospect of returning to Downton Abbey as the new butler.

Taking the cup and muttering his thanks to Barrow, Molesley turned his head around clumsily, frantically scanning the room for one Miss Baxter. Barrow approached him once more and remarked, with an amused grin that he didn't even try to hide, „She's not here yet. Her Ladyship wanted something so she went back upstairs.“

„Wh-what?“, Molesley asked in a nervous, high-pitched voice, his head bolting around to face Thomas. He hated being caught by Thomas, of all people. Not that the stuttered half question did anything to hide his embarrassment. The butler only shook his head ever so slightly, though, and returned to distributing the punch. Through the chattering of the other people in the room, Thomas' muttered words sounded suspiciously like „pathetic“. Molesley looked down, possible searching for a hole in the floor to hide in. Who was he fooling anyway, when Barrow was right – he did want to welcome the new year with Miss Baxter around.

Only when he heard Mrs. Patmore talking to someone behind him, did he turn around to notice the woman who had occupied his thoughts once more standing in the door frame. „Oh, there you are, Miss Baxter! Mr. Barrow here almost feared that you wouldn't make it down again in time“, Mrs. Patmore exclaimed.  
That woman really had her ears everywhere, she must have overheard snippets of what Thomas had said to him earlier. Molesley would have been annoyed if he hadn't been so relieved that she obviously had interpreted the short conversation wrong.

But Thomas wouldn't be Thomas if he just left it at that. „It wasn't me who was afraid you'd miss midnight!“

Miss Baxter shook her head at his teasing and walked into the room, all the way smiling happily at Molesley. „Don't mind him“, she whispered when she had reached Molesley's side, shaking her head once more. He would never understand why she still bothered with Thomas, even apologizing for his pestering. Thomas' nasty remarks were one thing he was glad he didn't have to put up with, any longer. It was another thing that he had left behind when he left Downton, though one of the few unpleasant. Thinking of Downton, most things that came to his mind were positive and even though he wasn't sorry to have moved on, he was indeed sad that he wasn't part of the everyday life, anymore. He felt like a fish out of water, surrounded by this group of people who knew so much about the each other. Sure he knew, that noticing every development in each other’s lives was something that just came with living so close together and spending every day together.  
Molesley had spotted a change in the way Daisy and Andy interacted with one another, but he couldn't pinpoint what had happened. What had been the trigger for the changed behaviour, had there even been one? For anyone who had been around those last weeks the difference was probably not even apparent, because it just came natural. For an outsider on the other hand, it was just as mysterious as the new, less sassy attitude of Mr. Barrow.  
For an outsider..., he was an outsider among this group of friends. He wanted to blend in again, however, the livery he was currently wearing didn't have the desired effect. He wanted to belong there and simultaneously didn’t want to be there. It was paradox.  
When the clock struck midnight and Molesley’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound, everyone was silent for a moment or so before only the loud noises of chairs being pushed backwards, glasses being clinked and people cheerfully welcoming the New Year could be heard. It all died down only when Mr. Carson audibly cleared his throat and Mrs. Carson began to sing for everyone. One after another, the other servants started to chime in, rejoicing a new beginning.

Molesley joined them too, of course, but with a little less enthusiasm than was usual for him on such a merry occasion. His mind was just a little too preoccupied. In fact so much that he ceased to notice the slight frown with what Miss Baxter studied his face. He looked worried, she thought – no, irritated. Miss Baxter knew that something was not right, she had already noticed that Mr. Molesley had been even quieter than usually that day. It made her sad to see him any less than downright happy when he had every reason to be joyful. Something was definitely off, she was sure of that. Molesley couldn't fool her with that fake smile on his face, holding himself as if he was feeling out of place.

Molesley felt himself being watched. At first, he tried not to be bothered it, still after a few moments when the feeling didn't go away he turned only to be met with a concerned Miss Baxter. Of course, it was her. If he would have had to name one person in this room that would acknowledge his discomfort, it would have to be Miss Baxter.  
He had long since given up on trying to explain to himself why she cared so much about him. He was grateful enough that she did. Often, he had the feeling that she was the only person in the world who had the slightest idea of what he was about. When he was the laughing stock to everyone else, Miss Baxter was always the one to see behind his awkward exterior. Just like now she was the one who had noticed his pretense. She seemed truly worried, so Molesley decided she deserved at least an explanation. But not in the crowded servant’s hall.

So, in a moment when he thought no one was looking, he tugged Miss Baxter's arm cautiously and motioned her to follow him out of the servant’s hall quietly. They had been standing at the far end of the table and while everyone was looking in the other direction, singing and indulging in punch, surely nobody would even notice they were gone. So fixated on each other, neither Miss Baxter nor Mr. Molesley were aware of the suspicious look Mrs. Patmore was giving them or Daisy's shocked expression when she saw them holding hands as they made their way towards the back door. The cook and her assistant shared a knowing look and decided to keep quiet. It was New Year's Eve after all and they could slide some slack.

Once outside, Baxter closed the door behind them. When she turned around to face Molesley again, he had already slumped himself down on one of the benches. He had dropped the facade of cheerfulness and was now sitting there with his eyes closed and his head leaning back against the stone wall. He didn’t need to pretend when they were alone. 

After some time he sighed and said, “I'm sorry for dragging you out here.” She had wrapped her arms around her in a futile attempt to shield herself from the cold. “You must be freezing and just because I needed some fresh air”, he tried to explain his sudden flight from the servants hall.

“Needed some fresh air?” she asked in disbelief, “Seriously, in there you looked as if you'd rather be anywhere else. Which would at least explain why you literally ran through the hallways, dragging me behind you.”

„It's true“, Molesley said, his voice higher than normally. He, himself, was the most surprised about this revelation. „Just now, inside, I really wished I was somewhere else. I felt so left out suddenly, so alienated, somehow. I guess, I've really gotten used to not being a footman anymore. To not being around anymore. That's strange, isn't it, when this was all I ever did until just a few months ago?“

„It's not strange at all“, Miss Baxter said after thinking about his words for some time. It did make sense when she thought about it. He had finally found his true profession, a work he felt completely comfortable with. Everything else must be unsatisfying and boring.  
„Every day you do something that you love, something you're really good at. Something you had fought so hard to achieve. It would be strange if you could still like this job here as much as you once did when you have the choice, now. No wonder that you feel out of place.“

„You're right. Of course, you're right. How do you know me so much better that I understand myself, sometimes?“ Molesley asked amazed, not for the first time, at how naturally understanding him came to her. Then again, everything about Miss Baxter amazed him.

„You give me too much credit, Mr. Molesley“, she objected, shaking her head slightly as if the movement proved a point. „I was wrong when I asked you to come here for the festivities. You're everything but comfortable. I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have persuaded you .“

He wasn't uncomfortable, though. At least not, while she was around.

„Oh, but I am now. How could I be not comfortable, here with you? You're the only person I ever feel I can be totally myself with and I'm glad that I came back for the holidays. Because, if nothing else I got to spend some time with you“, Molesley stood up from the bench and took a step forward. They were now standing only a few inches away from each other and both of them noticed that a small shiver ran through Miss Baxter's body. Whether it was from the cold winter air that had begun to creep through her dress or from the close proximity that they still had yet to get used to, they didn't know.

If he had thought that he could want nothing in his life more than to be a teacher, the woman in front of him was just proving him wrong. She was just standing there, her big eyes looking up curiously, the slightly raised eyebrows making it clear that she was waiting for him to say something more. In that moment, she was the most captivating human being he had ever laid eyes on.

„I wish we could spend more time together, you know. I miss our quiet evenings in the servant’s hall and spending our half days in the village. I miss you.“

As if to prove his point, he took a step closer to her and when he noticed that she still looked at him with a hint of confusion, he knew that he could not explain with words what he wanted her to know so badly. Taking a bold step had led him to success once, maybe it was about time to push his luck again.

He gently took hold of Miss Baxter's hand and when she shifted her eyes from him to their hands and back up to his face in silent question, he answered in the only way he felt capable of in that very moment. Hesitantly, he drew her a little closer, slowly adjusting to the feeling of their bodies so close to each other, and captured her lips with his. The kiss was cautious and tender and full of promises.  
After a few moments, much too soon for Molesley's liking, Baxter pulled back a little and smiled against his lips. With as little movement as possible, afraid the moment could be ruined by the slightest of changes, Baxter opened her eyes and looked up. The brilliant smile that was gracing her lips would have made him fall in love with her all over again if he hadn't already been completely lost.

That second, Molesley felt happier than he ever had before. “I hope you know that I love you very, very much”, he said with a quiet but steady voice. This just seemed so right that it didn't leave space for his usual nervousness.

“I do. We wouldn't be standing here, like this, if you didn't”, she stated with a big smile on her lips and a loving look in her eyes, before she said the words he had been most looking forward to, “I love you, too, Joseph Molesley.”

Molesley had thought that leaving service had been the biggest turn of his life, but now he was standing there in the courtyard with the woman he loved pressed closely against him, and he realized that this was a whole new level of happiness.

They remained like this a little while longer, Molesley's arms wrapped tightly around her in an attempt to shield her from the cold. It wouldn't have been necessary though, because Baxter seemed to radiate enough warmth for both of them from the inside. She had rested her head at his shoulder and sighed contently after some time before she reluctantly freed herself from the embrace. Midnight had long since passed and it was time to go back inside.

They rejoined the party in the servant’s hall, celebrating the dawn of the upcoming year with the others and at the same time celebrating their very own new beginning. It would be a happy new year, indeed.


	4. mind over matter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There are so many great quotes about age/ ageing that it's hard to choose from, so for this one-shot I decided for one that was always a favourite of mine. Because it's true and because I simply love word plays.
> 
> Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. - Leroy "Satchel" Paige
> 
> The scene is from S5, Baxley obviously. What else?
> 
> I always hate it when scenes are left unfinished in a way, like when two people are talking and then they just cut to the next scene and you don't know if that conversation is really over yet and they part ways or not.
> 
> You know what would make me happy, if you make it to the bottom, please leave a comment.

Thank heavens for Molesley, Miss Baxter thought as soon as he had stepped forward in the servants hall and rescued her from Thomas' bullying once again.

After they had been out of earshot from the other workers, he had inquired of course, what it was that Thomas wanted from her. Miss Baxter had only given him as little information as possible about the matter. He thinks I know something about Mr. Bates, she had said and that she couldn't tell Lady Grantham about Thomas' behaviour towards her. Molesley had, in his never faltering kindness, accepted that she couldn't tell him any more about the matter, either. Even though he didn't understand what was going on between her and Thomas Barrow.

Baxter tried to offer him a small smile, it would reassure him that things were alright. Complicated, yes, but alright. Molesley said nothing, instead he leaned his head to one side, pressing his eyes together a little. She supposed he was contemplating what they had just talked about, slowly making up his own mind about it. Probably also thinking about what it could be that she might know about Mr. Bates that Thomas could use against the man. She had been rather cryptic in her answers, after all.

After a moment, though, Molesley began to move his head from one side to the other, and a little back in a more than unbecoming way. Baxter wondered what had urged the sudden movements.

„What is it?" She asked.

„What's what?" Molesley replied, his voice as unnervingly high as it always was when he was getting nervous about nothing.

Baxter watched him with concern, elaborating her question, „You're doing something funny with your head. Sort of, tilting it."

Dumbfounded, he tried to deny the movement, „I'm not, am I?" It was hopeless, though. The words left his mouth so fast that there was no way that the movement hadn't been intentional.

„How do you think I look?" Now, that was unexpected, Baxter thought. She couldn't make the connection between his strange behaviour and that question. His antics were starting to worry her.

„Why? Have you got a rash?" She asked him, frowning in concern.

„I've not got a rash", Molesley retorted, more than slightly taken aback by her insinuation.

„That's alright, then." Baxter blinked.

Instead of leaving the matter be, Molesley had decided it was time to elaborate even further, „No, what I meant was, ... how old do you say I am?"

He sounded rather defeated, Baxter noticed in his voice. This whole conversation was really getting more and more absurd with every second.

„I don't know, maybe 52?" She answered as honestly as she could. She couldn't have guessed that her answer would startle him, but that was how he looked all of a sudden when all he managed to say was, „Oh."

„Why? How old are you?" She softly wanted to know. She didn't know why but she was still a little concerned about him.

„Fifty-one", he stated. Molesley gave her a heartbreaking look. It was as if she had insulted him somehow by assuming him to be a year older than he actually was. She gave him a sympathetic smile when he sighed and slumped his shoulders a little.

It wasn't as if she hadn't noticed. Everybody who wasn't blind actually must have noticed how Molesley's hair had suddenly become much darker over the past two days. Most of the servants had been joking about it when he wasn't around and Baxter had found herself inwardly chuckling at his attempt to improve his appearance as well. Now, she felt bad for making fun of him, even if it was just in her mind. Obviously, Molesley had intended to make himself look younger and apparently, it had had the opposite effect. At least, if he believed her assumptions about his age. She felt bad for making him feel bad when all he ever was to her was kind.

She tried to make it up to him, this time giving him a real, bigger smile, „But you look good for 51, I'd say."

The nervous giggle Molesley was giving her in return did nothing to ease the awkwardness. It took him a few moments to find his voice again and say, „You're just saying that to make me feel better."

Why else would she compliment him? He was just an ageing fool who failed miserably at his attempt to look, … well, less ageing.

„No, I'm not", Miss Baxter said and there was such a simplicity in the tone of her voice that he believed her.

Before Molesley could even thank her for those words, Daisy appeared in the doorway. „Miss Baxter", the young woman called out, „her Ladyship's bell rang just a minute ago!"

On that note, Baxer collected herself immediately and hurried up towards Lady Grantham's room. Molesley instead, was left standing at the foot of the stairway for minutes after, staring at the long deserted stairs, thinking about how kind and caring Miss Baxter always was and how she always found the right words to say. He didn't mind now, that dying his hair had not helped at all to make him look younger. He also didn't notice himself being watched until he heard the harsh words of the underbutler, „Don't you have anywhere to be, Mr. Molesley? This is disgusting!", pointing at the stairs, no doubt referring to Molesley's daydreaming.


End file.
